you want me
i'd rather choke on a dick.
Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
You're gonna have to start calling my house phone from now on
How come?
Cuz 'Dad' looked pretty similar to the word Dane when i sent that picture message
You only like me because I'm a challenge
You already blew me
I mean, how many people can say they helped surgically remove something from their body? Other than the guy that got his hand stuck under a rock and cut it off. Doesn't count
I just had a flash of memory of me asking all of the girls if they were on their periods. If they said yes I said it made us moon sisters.
I only know two things that kitchen floors are good for... sex and quesadillas that got dropped. You know, the five second rule
First night sober since New Years. I'm not sure what hurts more, the hangover or the credit dread when I find out what the tickets to Bali actually cost.
I approve. Last time I was there, I left E's room to get a drink of water. Found M sitting on the kitchen counter in his boxers hammered and eating a banana. He proceeded to feed me the rest of his banana then went to bed with the lights on. You two will be great.
Im like a saiyan, last weekends hangover will only make me stronger
Bjs and tacos. That's my life.
He compared my ass to "a 13 year old track star's ass." Umm WTF? Is that supposed to be a compliment? And when I questioned boy or girl he said "either."
Sorry I crashed a riding mower into your garage door. No hard feelings??
Just told my roommate about "analvice" and she is horrified and the Sound of Music is ruined.
I love you too, but sadly you're not as good at getting me out of bed as cocaine.
Randomize
