i may have used way too many innuedos last night. i scared him off. but really... how could i pass up "stimulus package" and "flacid economy." don't answer that.
I'm not saying he's gay. Just that he prob knows what a dick tastes like
Some girl in the stall next to me just yelled "fuck yes i started my period!" she came out of the stall and we high fived. who am i to judge? i do that every month.
Whoever decided to wrap my shins in duck tape owes me new leg hair.
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Im not coming back to that place until im drunk. If I walk in there sober Ill start screaming uncontrollably. Not words, just sounds.
Well his dad was his wingman, so I had to fuck him. I didnt want his dad to think that he was doing a bad job and I was drunk enough to think he was doing a good job.
Score one for dad.
with the possibility that i could very easily fall in love with him and i've actually talked to my HUSBAND about it
He made the moves first, we made out...then we folded his laundry.
Probably won't be invited back there again considering last time his purebred corgi ate my pot brownie and had to be rushed to the hospital.
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I cannot lay down. I will throw up my life and your life and the class hamster I had in third grade.
Just had a smooth transition from sexting to buffalo chicken dip πππ
Your skills amaze me
I think the God that I only kind of believe in, definitely hates me.
I'm extremely upset that I wasted my "having sex with a guy at work" card on him
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
Kinda thinking about going to my moms wedding high
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