I'm watching harry potter...good thing I already know I'm gay
She got kicked off the plane and spent the last four hours in a holding cell with the feds.
but she's really nice
I had to puke in a pizza box on the drive home. People saw.
She acts like you when your on meds
She acts like batman?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
At 4am he sent "uree asss ize anmazin"
My dry heaving is complicating my ability to speak.
New definition for "rock bottom": Waking up in a puddle of your own puke, missing your fake tooth. Then having to dig through said puddle of puke for aforementioned fake tooth. Think it's time I quit partying so hard.
Is this your way of breaking up with me as my wingman?
When I say I took advantage of you when you were drunk, I mean that I convinced you to let me paint cute little panda bears on all of your toenails.
Peeling duct tape off of my dick is definitely one of the stranger sensations that I've experienced.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
well I woke up with about $3 in odd change and a note that said "I'm borrowing your weed." So, no, it didn't go to well.
tonights mission is daddy issue patrol - we wear old spice and drink gin martinis and see who reacts.
Eating chips and sending nudes. This is my life.
But you put your finger in my ass and the rest is history
Im sorry you'll never get the feeling of closeness when you go to pee outside and you realize you're peeing right where someone else just peed
Hammered...8am...why is there chickens in the living room?
Randomize