I fink we're distracting them from bumping the proverbial uglies
Dear man in the lobby please go play whith yourself elsewhere
every time I worry about a career mistake, I remember Michelle Pfeiffer did Grease 2.
I just realized that I'm gonna have to lower my standards if I want random head.
I decided that I do the same thing when i'm drunk with every guy who has a girlfriend...lecture them on how bad cheating is, then hook up with them. I'm like good cop, bad cop.
Just went through the drive thru and got 18 free donuts in exchange for half a joint. Dunkin Donuts at midnight might become a nightly thing for us.
So hungover. They actually hid easter eggs around me.
I think we should bring back the casual nipple tassel
Just bought the plane tickets. Light headed. Blood rush to clit oh god blue clit. Mayday mayday vagina down!
usual friday morning routine. the pants i wore last night are in my passenger seat and im rooting through the pockets trying to make exact change at the dunkin donuts drive thru
just shotgunning some tallboys in the cooler, you?
HOW DO YOU GET RAISES EVERY TWO WEEKS?!
i want to platonically make out with them, platonically. in the back of this minivan
Don't you hate falling asleep on the couch with a glass of wine in your hand? It's like dreaming about peeing and then realizing you've peed the bed only stickier.
He made me tacos after the sex. Best date ever!
Man I gotta stop stashing shit when I'm high. I just spent 2 hours searching for my bag of pot and eventually found it in fucking a bandaid box.
Randomize
