I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
my mario cart skills improve with alchohol. and i think my real car skills do to but the cop didnt see my logic
he just sent me a friend request on facebook. i wish it were physically possible to vomit on him through the internet.
My roommate just did the walk of shame in last nights corset back to our room to find her dad there. THATS why i go to school out of state.
He was doing push ups, crunches and jogging in place in front of the restaurant. I'm not too sure I want to eat there if it requires immediate exercise following the meal.
He told me that he wishes our relationship was more like prison: less touching, more butt sex.
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
I pretty much just threw a bunch of clothes and my vodka in a bag..idk where I'm gonna end up tonight but I'm prepared.
I can't believe we had "50th anniversary of man in space" sex.
Parents weekend was a success.
Yeah, I guess so if you consider being arrested and having your parents bail you out a success...
Bail could have come out of your pocket so yes, I think we were financially responsible this weekend.
It's like a party bus, but there's a glass, airtight wall separating the driver from the passengers, and once everyone's on, they pump vaporized THC into the cabin.
Got into the physics lab with my student id, hooked up over break when school was closed. I regret no payments for tuition.
Tornado booty call.. dedication
No, and she still hasn't answered me...I get a whole series of text messages about Guatemalan anal bleaching but no fucking answer to my question.
Eating breakfast at 1:30 in the afternoon stark naked is how everyone should live
Randomize
