She calls her new ritual "bed, bath, and beyond crunk". Hence why I found her passed out in my bath tub this morning.
If I had a motorized wheelchair, I'd just chase the squirrels on campus all day.
This is one of those situations that make me think to myself "what life decision did I make to get here"
And then you guys went on to show us ur sex positions from the before. Thanks
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I would convert to being a Republican and Mormon just to sleep with Romney's sons. The things I would to do them.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
I decided staying home, watching porn and masterbating was a much better choice than the gym. And I was right.
YOU MAKE ANAL SEX SOUND LIKE A SPORTING EVENT
Goddamn it Peter ur the only person i know who can make going down on a girl a competition.
She won. Twice.
Did I let your boyfriend smear a banana into my face last night? Because I have pictures that are telling me I did....
I think he has some internal "man stuff" that keeps getting in the way.
Like alcoholism and general douchbagary.
I mean, I already hooked up with her boyfriend. The least I can do is accept her facebook friend request.
Sorry, I didn't know he was with you. The ongoing collapse of Trump has me horny as hell.
Randomize
