moral of the story: I'm going to stab everyone
Mario Lopez is the poor mans Ryan Seacrest
dude i just figured out that the tostitos sign is two people eating chips and salsa. being high totally pays off sometimes
Im not gonna remember this tomorrow but the real money is in coke i wanna get a dark wood desk and cell coke then i can own taco bell and the xxl chalupa will be mine
I will pee on everything he values.
There is a really great story behind the missing Coco Puffs and vodka mystery
hooking up with him was much more fun when i knew in the back of mind we'd get in some sort of trouble for it
Haha, how do I word that nicely? "You got me to the edge of no return twice and failed to let me orgasm, therefore you owe me chicken nuggets or hot wings. Your decision"
My dad found my bra hanging from my rear view mirror. Happy long weekend.
I'm hoping the sedatives kick in before I drunkenly decide to eat this whole cheesecake.
It tasted better than Jesus's hair.
I fucked the midget version of a backstreet boy and I am not mad about it
A bitchslap is in order.
I just read my D.A.R.E. essay from 5th grade. I'm having mixed feelings about my previous life choices right now.
Omg I'm having dinner at chilli's with a guy who is arguing that getting a weed leaf tatoo on his neck will prevent him from getting a job as a dental assistant
Well that actually sounds reasonable
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