just caught my little brother jacking off the family pet
That bar we were at last night smelled like cougars. Virginia Slims, Aqua Net and Summer's Eve.
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
you left a giant bottle of vodka in my room from last night. does this serve as a parting gift or hush money?
They're watching TV in bed. The Golden Girls to be exact. Aaaand I just heard them singing along with the theme song. I love living with gays.
THERE ARE ENTIRELY TOO MANY HOT UNDERAGE GIRLS HERE FOR THIS TO REMAIN LEGAL.
It just goes to show you, your dreams can come true. You can hook up with your dads hot married friend.
Its kind of weird knowing that im only seeing you that day to fuck in some woods
He told her Jesus wouldnt yell curse or degrade her. He'd just simply shake his head and slap the shit out of her
That's what I love about being a lesbian. My roommate's boyfriend watched her finger me and then he made me pancakes in the morning. AND THEN HE LEFT.
Tequila ran out around 11 so she let them do body shots of chips and guacamole instead
He yelled "HOO-ah!" like Al Pacino when he pulled down his pants. Trust me, he has every right to.
I know how vodka works Grace. I'm drunk, not stupid.
I don't know which is worse, the fact that his name is Kevin or the fact that he has a pornstache.
I'm not saying it wasn't great. I'm just saying sleeping with a gassy, depressed,45 year old mother was a different experience. Would do it again though.
Randomize
