Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
you insisted on breathalizing me with a inhaler.
Riding on an electric horse at the grocery store... dunno how that conversation went but I hope you picked up a 12 pack.
there's a guy pushing a keg up the street in a shopping cart. you have to love graduation
i knew it was time to leave the bar when i caught myself doing karate dance moves with a married man.
I have a fannypack full of condoms and acid. Let's get weird.
My chest hair is, as we speak, arching upward to embrace my neck beard. The union will be a storied one.
They should really start adding the average cost of day drinking to our cost analysis sheets. Does FAFSA cover this? No. It doesn't.
We need large glitter to throw at people to signify our mystic nature
Fuck their feelings and their drinks they will get hit with sparkly confetti
Yeah, first time I've shit my pants in my twenties... I'm thinking about putting it on my Facebook timeline
An hour is enough time for me to get drunk and win a dry hump marathon so I hope you have somewhat similar or better goals
I never realized the effects a broken spine would have on my sex life
She was doing drunken zumba and screaming "FUCK YOU I HAVE MY OWN STYLE!" at the TV
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
That's the only way to watch Gumby. Either age 5 or high.
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