there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
a lot of self evaluation comes after you have to clean up a trashcan of your own vomit and condoms
You were passed out on the chair and when I asked you if you were okay you looked up and said "I'm fine, I was just pretending for a picture" then passed out again.
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
She just broke down showed up grabbed a beer said fuck it pulled off her fake eyelashes looked at my roommate and said we need to break up you're a nice guy and I'm a whore
I'm scared to see what happens if we keep winning like this. I don't think there enough livers for every one after the season is over.
But see that's the thing. I know i'm better looking than you, I just want you to be continually in a state of shock and awe that you could ever get a girlfriend this hot. You know?
are you just inviting me because you can't afford an actual stripper?
Emoji's do wonders when you actually have nothing at all to say..
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
He said that he doesn't like skittles. This relationship is over an it hasn't even started yet.
I really don't know how I went from having a few drinks to waging war against ghosts in my apartment but here we are
THEYRE FUCKING GOLD
Are you talking about the color of my tits or the quality of my nudes cause both are
He fucked me in one of the back rooms at the club then gave me an altoid. I have mixed feelings about it still.
The only thing I remember about us having sex is yelling at him to choke me.
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