I am dying of drunk and no thats not a typo.
remember that night we drank a bottle of vodka and went to mcdonalds and ordered everything on the dollar menu, twice?
we can't do that now- first b/c they got rid of that menu and 2 b/c we are broke now. damn this recession.
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Lesson 1: you can't keep macking on a girl if you get handcuffed
You don't even understand how penises react in the cold. I'm like a 8 year old boy right now.
I'm really debating making a second facebook. Same name only with DRUNK at the end. That way I can keep the guys I only talk to when I'm drunk on that facebook and only go on it when im drunk.
The bouncer at this strip club is my new best friend. He is also very persuasive. He got me to strip onstage for a t shirt. It's a nice shirt.
she was masturbating to a video of herself masturbaing. She's a keeper
No, I googled it. Apparently, male thongs are the next snuggy and a lot of guys love wearing them for the support.
I'm proud of you, you were pretty classy last night, you didn't puke AND you didn't take off your shirt, except for those two times in the corner.
You and your vagina are hellbent on selfdestruction and bad decisions
Dude...can we put that on a tshirt? I will totally sport that shit.
Dude at one point I lost you only to find you sitting in the bushes eating pizza.
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
I don't want to spend an inordinate amount of time with you, I want to have sex with you. Duhhhhhh.
i just found a pair of your underwear stuffed behind my harry potter books...was that on purpose?
haha no, it was majik
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