Is it standard protocol to defriend someone after they give you chlamydia?
I drank 13 shots. Which is unlucky. Which is why i threw up.
you threw up because you drank 13 SHOTS
We shouldn"t be alone together
you didn"t say that yesterday
you weren't married yesterday
We woke up, fucked, and shared a piece of my sister's first communion cake for breakfast.
And you thought you were going to hell last weekend.
I think I'm making progress on my commitment issues. I drunk made out with the same guy from last semester this weekend.
i just called. the lady was really nice. something tells me my schools clinic gets a lot of calls about chlamydia
Cognac is not meant to be taken in shots. I just wanted you to know the desperation of last night.
When else am I ever going to have a chance to do lines with T-Pain?
You have not lived until you've seen your mother stumble into the house with one shoe on mumbling incoherently about tequila cupcakes.
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
there is a smiley face on my leg painted in blood
I'm pretty sure that's yours.
MAGGIE IS ON MY COUCH PETTING AN HONEST TO CHRIST ARMADILLO AND SOBBING INTO HOT CHOCHOLATE. WHAT THE FUCK DID YOU DO TO HER.
I told her I'd rather set my hair on fire than sleep with her again. In retrospect, that was probably too harsh. My eye is still swollen shut.
woke up, covered in gummy bears, with a note that said "the gummy army won"
On a scale of one to 10 how Risky is it to sleep with a married man (all morals set aside)
Randomize
