does dane cook know its not 2004 and that hes no longer relevant?
im trying to pick out the cookie crumbs from my adderall. it is a lot harder than it seems.
I drove you home. there is no excuse for wrecking your car 3 hours later.
walking through the french quarter. a homeless guy just offered me a pigeon. gotta love new orleans.
we've had sex 4 times and he still refers to me as 'the chick in my chem class'
Well as our DD it was my responsibility to get us home safely. If that meant strapping you down to the backseat using all 3 seatbelts then so be it.
So, your gf couldn't walk up the stairs without your help, but she could knit you a scarf?
I think the fact that the scarf was made out of dental floss should be taken into account.
someone to text and fuck? since when does that constitute a relationship?
since 2006
our flight took off 8 am and the bar didn't close til 5, so we decided it was a good idea to just stay out all night. Drunk logic is awesome. We were all scared we wouldn't get let onto the plane
youre always welcome to strip dance on tables with me Mag. what are friends for.
Can you get the drug form of snow for the blizzard this weekend?
I hat to flip my "days since last bad decision" chart back to zero. So...yeah. Sigh.
After getting all 4 of my wisdom teeth removed I asked my dentist how much better would I be at head
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
I I was gonna wake him up with a blow job but I don't know how he would feel about it.
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