Apparently every Tri-Delt knows what I did and I am blacklisted from ever dating anyone in that house.
Well ya you lied, told her you cared, took her virginity and then broke up with her at Christies Toy Box.
I honestly thought the dildo was a nice parting gift.
i told my doctor i had 3 partners and one unprotected.. shes a cute little indian lady i couldnt break her heart
I just saw a homeless man with a cat on a leash. reminded me of you.
I'm not saying I want a booty call. I just want what Cory and Topanga had.
there is a large number of people floating in the fountains the morning in inter-tubes...its only 930. did i miss something?
despite contrary belief, getting peanut butter off your balls is not as easy as it sounds
Bring my lunch to work in liquor store bags is doing nothing for my career
i think every time you texted me i responded with 'bathroom floor'
And by hung out you mean you were in my bed for 5 minutes while your penis was in my mouth.
Did you ever stop and think that god invented whiskey dick specifically for me
Is it bad of me to apply as a night shift counselor at a boys orphanage purely because of how laid that would get me at bars?
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Unless you count my weekly workout where I drink wine, listen to obscure/cheesy records, and pretend I'm a ballerina...no. I don't exercise.
its 2pm and were already starting beer pong...its gonna be a good night
The last thing I remember is trying to chug the rest of the everclear, running through a fence, and laying down in the snow. I hurt.
Randomize
