I only kidnapped one of them. chill
It's an Italian thing I guess, grew up on that shit.
I'm Irish, we don't eat cow guts unless they're blended into a fine whiskey
the lady at Walgreens winked at me when i asked where the cherry chapstick was... damn u katy perry!
Soo both my 8 year old sister and fuck buddy are named Sarah..
this can't be going anywhere good
nooope. guess which one i texted last nite to come over so i could "punish her pussy"? =\
This chick just checked into her walk of shame on Foursquare... I think I'm in love.
It's 8 am and he's already trying to get me to make out with a girl.
he just hooked up with some chick in a bedroom upstairs so I just went to sleep in the pantry closet...
I hate him. I fucked every one of his friends AND his fat brother and he still won't break up with me.
Ok. I'll enjoy the quiet (translation: I might be naked, call ahead if you come home tonight)
oh the usual. high as balls and crying about the hunger games.
I'm wearing a sports bra. Of course I'm not getting laid tonight.
so after 3 days of looking i found the keg...looks like somebody tried burying behind the garage
He waved at a guy who drove by while we were having sex in the back of a rental car in a hospital parking garage prior to visiting family. Almost made me feel guilty but I liked it too much.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
You're like a care bear with a big cock & a sexual prowess that would put the mighty Thor to shame.
Randomize
