We're exchanging pot brownie recipes in my substance abuse class. This is going to be an awesome 7 weeks.
Could someone please kill snooki before she contributes to the gene pool.
I'm coming over to use your dick. I need to take my aggression out on something. Hope that's cool.
I owe her a pancake or a second hand orgasm
Not much, just your average college male Sunday cleaning period blood out of the carpet.
Tell me you're kidding.
Besides scarred, I'm not much of anything right now.
I'm being responsible and going as a gay, slutty Mormon missionary. It's responsible because I'll have a bike helmet on for when I fall over because I'm too shitfaced to stand upright. It's safer than Count Fagula. I just need to come up with a line equal or greater than "Blaaaa I want to suck your dick"
She told me a motorboat isn't successful unless they come out gasping for air. MISSION ACCOMPLISHED!!!
Look. If you get me out of this speeding ticket you can bang my sister. Or my mom. But not both.
We got to his house at 7am and two random guys were on the couch shot gunning beers saying we were late for the party
Just listened to a full Christian rock song, loved it,listened to the dj send a prayer to a 4th grader who was having a tough year and realized I'm high as fuk
You can laugh all you want but 99 grapes is a lot stronger than what you were drinking.
We're living together and you don't know if I've seen Titanic?!
Strip Simon Says: DO IT
The angle I tried to shoot a load on her face was unfortunate. I accidentally came on the David Bowie tribute she had out. Oddly, that made it more erotic.
I WILL KICK YOU IN THE FUCKING THROAT IF YOU EAT MY FUCKING ICE CREAM.
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