Free body shot off of Sarah. Expires never.
porn star on stage now. Get unkicked out.
He actually believes he's not an alcoholic if he doesn't go to meetings.
Sad Moment: I only had enough $ at 711 to buy chips or salsa. I chose salsa and took a plastic spoon
I am wasted and people are fist pumping. This should not happen on the west coast.
scratch lunch, i just found about 7 more dicks drawn on my back
Post-shopping-cart-scooter-jousting victory fuck?
HELP A SISTER OUT. AND KEEP YOUR TONGUE OUT OF THE HUMMUS.
TOO HIGH TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT
I'm drinking straight vodka and railing lines of adderall while writing a paper about the nature of Jesus. It's 6:50 in the morning. College.
Dude. Stop sending me lines from Hungry Like the Wolf
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
No one should have to go to work between Christmas and New Years, but here I am twirling in my office chair and putting Jack in my coffee like I’m back in college studying for finals.
I made her pull the car over 5 times to puke because she was going to fast, apparently she was only going 30mph...
Last thing googled on my laptop last night was vagina chaffing. What the fuck?
Randomize
