She announced her abortion via fbk
his name is not nearly as fun as i thought to yell out in bed
i cleaned the weed out of my bowl, pretended it was a spoon and ate oatmeal with it. my mom cried
I dont think he was a real cab driver. I think he was just a creepy guy with a van.
Just hooked up with a girl I met in line at Taco Bell. I told you leave me to do my own thing and I'll get it in
Do you think you can get drunk by standing in a tank of vodka if it is seeping into your skin?
That's what I'm here for. To bitch slap you into believing in yourself.
What if our hands were octopus tentacles?
You're an idiot.
We are buying drugs from a guy with a Jesus fish on his dodge caravan.
I'm high and reading a Wikipedia article on circumcision procedure. Help.
I'm sorry for aggressively singing the Frasier theme song at you so many times last night.
He's like a unicorn and I just wanna domesticate him
This is not okay. I only like one boy. I should like 200 boys and be having wild unprecedented sex. Instead I like one boy whose a born again virgin.
I know you’re not my dad, but you’re someone dad. And you’re also like a second dad to me who I also send nudes to as well. Happy Father’s Day
That's true. Ask me when I'm not fucked up. Nvm hold on. Btw. Wikipedia dinosaur. It's fascinating
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