I wanna eat
then frost
then eat your cupcake
And then he said "my dick isn't hard enough and your tits aren't big enough for this to work"
Sitting next to a girl in the computer cluster who just googled syphilis symtoms, started crying & got up and left. My life suddenly seems better.
I Think it is all interconnected. Emma caused most of the nakedness
this is your 3rd pregnancy scare in 2 years, I think its time for you to re-evaluate the whole 'im a lesbian' thing
Sorry if this is weird, but please don't have sex in my truck. I get to be the first...
We should have a bouncer at the top of our stairs asking the guys we bring home for ID...
New year means new boundaries for the Brazilian lady.. I'm pretty sure I got wax on my asshole
I haven't received a dick pic from him lately. He's not even my boyfriend and I'm concerned. I hope he's alright.
Bianca brought a stripper home he's making me breakfast
I just farted so loud someone came to check on me. Thought something fell in my office.
Hey, scratch that. I've shit 8 times today. I don't have the energy to get laid so I cancelled my date.
I'm definitely not mad. My best friend is dating my drug dealer, it's impossible to be mad.
It was kind of like hidden Mickey ears, but with dicks.
I just bought a mini nerf gun so he could make a bowl out of it, I deserve the fuck buddy of the year award!
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