You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
i like that you affectionately refer to him as "creepy" ever time you talk about him
the kid next to me in training is drinking sangria. its 9am here in case you couldnt calculate. its going to be a good year.
I just remember thinking that if i ran really fast through the house, no one would notice i was naked.
will emailing you the 64 kama sutra positions I want to try during the 3 days your here turn you on or terrify you?
Just saw you drinking out of a flask on national tv. I've never been more proud of you
Skip school. Seven hour blow job Plus Disney movies. Day of champions
i've been hiding in the laundry chute for like thirty minutes from her. not my manliest moment. but dude this is awesome
A black suburban rolled up and a scary suited guy got out the passenger side and opened the door for her as she got in. Then drive off. Who did I just fuck?
I told her shower beers are even better when you have someone in there with you and she said she's been looking for a new drinking buddy. It's a goooooo
Last thing I remember is whiskey shots. My roommate tells me we were there 15min before I decided to run home naked. And we live across from a police station.
Nothing warms my heart more than the sight of a naked hockey player in my bed.
We have sober sex! It's a real relationship.
I’m going to fail his daughter so she stays in my class and I can keep fucking him. BEST. ORGASMS. EVER.
Then you can teach the kid to be a home wrecker
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