found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I just went to a subway where the girl didn't know how to make a blt. I will not miss public school texans.
I just saw a guy in the gym riding the bicycle while watching baseball and dipping.
I have 11 glasses of water and one beer on the table infront of me. Have to keep going to different bartends to get more. There are only two though and I think they've caught on
we were both as far on opposite edges of my bed as possible this morning. id say work is gonna be a little uncomfortable from now on
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
She called him at 5 AM so that he'd be ready for her birthday breakfast and drinks at 6. This is why people don't need to wait until their 21st to have their first drink.
I've come to the conclusion that the dicks in Arizona just don't have enough size for me.
Made myself shower before I'd masturbate. I probably should have wined and dined myself too, but that's pushing it too far.
After I finished inserting the catheter he said he thought my name was familiar. Didn't have the nerve to tell him he was my fifth grade teacher.
there is a guy passed out on top of me and i don't know what to do. help if you're awake? was anyone anyone expecting someone? maybe he found the wrong room?
No I did a yoga dvd and hit my ex up via email for some pot in exchange for his mail.
You know you're good at multi-tasking if you can get a lap dance from someone while simultaneously eating a burrito.
What's a nice way of saying 'I wish I hadn't fucked you.'
You tried to eat your way through the wall. Like you literally tried to eat drywall and insulation.
Randomize
