i told him im from Canada, abortion is free
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
dude 8 am is too early to start pregaming for new years eve
clearly you are not from wisconsin
I went to the bathroom like 8 times and each time I looked in the mirror and tried saying "I am sober." I burst out laughing when I got to "so-" every time. If you can't convince yourself, you can't convince anyone else. Fuck it, I'm going upstairs and drinking more.
You make your fellow Jews happy.
Too long to explain. Basically I started an electircal fire. No one was hurt except for a box of cereal near the outlet.
I'm on strict orders from her to keep sleeping with you until you give her a job next summer.
I don't know what you told him but please make him stop telling me about his new video camera and winking
I danced on the street to dubstep on a boombox for an hour with a lesbian single mother.
I think I'm gonna wear a bikini to our final tomorrow...just so he knows that no fucks will be given on his test
i'll llet you know if at any point this night starts to make any sense
Nothing like banging your nurse in the shower while staying in the hospital
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
He just felt my tits to find out which piercing I lost.
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Chicks dig it when you smell like bong water and frebreeze.
Randomize
