you should have heard her the other night. no sentence related to one preceding it. it was like she was in etch a sketch and when she moved she forgot everythin
I fucked her on my hockey bag. it doesnt get any more Canadian than that.
Now for something completely different: ive figured out how to eat a banana without insinuating something completely naughty
It was the worst sex ever. All she did was tap on my balls with her hands like she was in a reggae band.
Woke up in my own bed with a "New Years Eve 2011" bar bracelet on. Both of these things confuse me.
I don't want to have to force feed him my vagina!!
This is the 4th time we've hooked up, and this morning we woke up, he got out of bed and left. Left me alone in his apartment with 3 of his friends. Without even a word. Why do i like this guy?
Surveying the reception hall and I'm fearing the worst possible thing that could ever happen...this might be a dry wedding.
.,.,you might have to leave
Now accepting any stories about my adventures last night, in particular why my knuckles are bleeding.
I tipped him really well because I feel he knew we were high, but did it in a non judgemental way.
There's tequila in my general area. Please pray for me.
When she's hammered the amount of alliteration that comes out of her mouth is amazing.
She deleted me on Facebook. I think it's safe to say that she knows I fucked him now.
i think we sleep fucked last night...
You kept apologizing to your car for talking behind its back
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