Gross thing of the day...i got cum in my new boots
No shame. Just smoked a bowl with a Norwegian. Feels like something to cross off a list.
I just randomly started counting the number of guys that I've hooked up with that are now gay. 11.
4 random people called me telling me they found him sleeping in the fetal postion on a driveway 45 minutes after we lost him
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
There was blood everywhere. She was pretty good looking person though.
trying to line up a DD for St Pats Day. i guarantee i will put out. or puke and pass out. really its 50/50 at this point.
I had some like war flashbacks of giving someone a handjob and i was trying to figure out who it was.
Passed out in a rocking chair on her porch. Woke up to the tow truck taking away my car.
Eh maybe I should give her a chance. Let's see where making a porno takes the friendship
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There is pretty much a target on everyone's lips when I am drunk. EVERYONE
If I'm not drunk and wearing a penguin hat by the time we are done opening Christmas presents then coming home for Christmas was a complete failure
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
I won the 'drunkest person at a family event' award tonight.
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Failing this, see a doctor for elephant tranquillisers, to be taken with whiskey orally, twice at dawn.
Randomize