I seriously need to stop naming my lingerie sets after the boys I wear them for. I seriously just asked mom if she put Brett in the dryer
My family just suggested tequila shots. I had Vietnam style flashbacks.
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
he drank a monster margarita at dinner. had to ask me if it was dollars or minutes that ended in 60.
No one actually likes Tequila. They just accept it as a fact of life. Like hpv.
How can it be called memorial day weekend....I don't even remember this weekend
I think my multiple attempts of taking his life, no matter how unintentional they were, has put a damper on our friendship
I offered to buy ihop waffles for all the homeless people outside the metro. It was time to go to bed.
Currently siting in the living room naked, staring at one of the girls across the street in her living room naked. This is like the most intense starting contest of all time.
Me and two guys that I made Eskimo bros all soberly slept together in my bed
Running late for a date because I couldn't get my clothes out from under the dude I spent the night with in time to leave when I planned. This is my life.
Well ill be drunk so just come find me. Its like where in the world is Joey San Diego
I think he's like 40 and maybe a little sociopathetic and i have never been so turned on
Another text to add to the intervention pile, i see
I just realized that with the new snapchat update / emoji sticker thing I can now use easily use emojis to cover my boobs in nudes.
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
Randomize
