How do I get over judging people who I would be exactly like if I had a boyfriend
Get a boyfriend
He insisted on sleeping in my bed. Had he taken all of my obvious hints I would have sucked his dick. He only wanted to snuggle. My world has been turned upside down.
My last google search was 'bulk asian wives' I don't know either
The key to alley sex is drunkeness.
When she sees your dick for the first time, tell her it glows blue when orcs are close
So, last night I fell asleep sitting Indian-style on the floor, propped up against the front of the couch with an empty wine bottle in between my legs... How was your night?
He even wore it to bed. What the hell. He's too excited about that goddamn costume.
You are the ghost of drunk bitches past, present, and future.
He told me if he passed out to wake him by sitting on his face, and if he suffocated at least he would die happy. Found the one.
He has a baby picture of himself on the night stand. I don't think this whole 'one night stand' thing is for me.
this isn't the first time i woke up with peanut butter in my butt
My sexual preferences tend to require a degree in psychology to understand
Do you know how awkward it is to get a dick pic while working at babies r us?
Wait, like drink with real Phil. Or Phil, the cat that sometimes lived in your closet in Myrtle Beach?
The underwear in the garbage is clean. Just wipe the pizza sauce off
Randomize
