I need to go to a fraternity... my boobs are telling me to.
Things to remember: Girls don't appreciate it when you yell "Beast Mode!" when switching to doggy style.
the best part is my dad got arrested for the same thing at the same bar 30 years ago... so he cant be mad
i just got painted green i'm not about to leave for anything
So my date night ended with us watching porn with his roommate.
ALSO, bringing a stapler to the bar is a good idea
I was so intoxicated last night I was giving out my real name and number ugh.
He blacked out at the first bar and passed out at the second...we just carried him to bar three and four and sat him in the lounge chairs, he said we're amazing
Well I sent him a pic of my vagina and sent back a pic of his puppy....so there's that
He puked over my shoulder into the toilet. The guy in the next stall sounded totally appalled.
Lmfao I'm not trying to have a pissing contest over acid with my mom.....
Option 1: fuck me and bedtime. Option 2: come fuck me and then hangout with everyone. Option 3: don't fuck me in which case fuck you.
So i know i said I'm turning over a new leaf, but i met a guy with a dick piercing. I have to sleep with him. For science.
Who brings nunchucks to a funeral?
Im legit just salty with everyone who has a penis right now
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