Tried killing a moth in our bathroom. Water everywhere. Don't worry about it.
your dick doesn't do me any good in arizona
no seriously. she's even got the premier of the real L word on her calendar at work. that lesbian.
the only sentence i could make out from her was "i will wash these herpes away"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
The melted ice in my drinks tonight is probably the most water I've had in like 3 days accumulated.
Dude I walked in to my house just to be handed a bottle of vodka by my sister. She then said i had 15 minutes to finish it. Moving into my parents place is the best choice I have made this year.
So ahh..."Multicultural Night" turned into "Fuck the Neighbor Night"
Peed in a sink tonight. That drunk. I'm not proud of myself for what I did. But to carry it out with such class. I should be awarded
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I accidentally lit my hair on fire and we broke the bed. How was your night?
The maintenance guy says happy birthday. Also, he likes your penis balloon.
Yess he was literally so drunk that like at one point I'm pretty sure he thought it was hard and in when neither were true :/ haha
Made him watch 4 hours of HGTV then told him I was too tired for sex.
Savage
Orgasms and cereal.... that's what life's about.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
Randomize