I heard it from a little bird bananas is gonna be there
Is this bird reliable bc I don't wanna be wasted running around the bar asking where bananas is
Having a conversation over beer pong about a threesome I participated in...it's only Wednesday
Tis a story best told in person, it involves a golf course, police and vomit
It usually does with you
Judging that there's a photo of me getting head while sitting on a graveyard tombstone.....not good.
story update. I'm locked out of my house. Walk of shame advisory extended...
aaaaaand im pretty certain i told that boy i just met that "his balls better be out tomorrow"
got high to the hills theme song. FEEL THE RAIN ON YOUR SKIN. no regrets.
They play video games, go on acid trips, and in times of need, are willing to donate plasma together. COUPLE OF THE YEAR.
I NEED to see if his girl has a sister.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Also I like this area. Lots of places for me to get tacos.
How bad would it be to ask my maintenance man for new blinds because the dude puked on those too?
If she's over 40, she won't believe you if you say " I'm only going to put the head in"
I was so high I watched a 5 minute video of different scenes of horses running. The music was magical.
I just had a random tinder dude give me a ride home from school because my car is dead. Tinder rules! It's like Uber, but with boys who want to impress you.
Remember how I have such good luck that it's almost bullshit?
I'm afraid to ask, but go on.
Randomize
