butt sex is not good for yourself don't do it
Thanks?
when my dick couldnt get hard she said "fly on little wing"
mom and dad are leaving for florida on 4/20, this is a sign
They nicknamed me the gargoyle. Sex with me is getting gargoyled. The last one I fucked yelled "gargoyle me" for dirty talk. I think fucking me is part of their pledging initiation. Somewhat OK with this.
was it you or me who tried to make the, what appears to be, nacho cake in the oven?
I think being an adult is being able to say no to free shots...I need to work on that.
I saw a kid peeing outback so I yelled "you have a small pecker, but its ok cuz when life gives you lemons..." and proceeded to throw lemons at him
possible new low: just washed a permanent marker penis off my cheek with porta-potty hand sanitizer.
also if this is gonna be a sample of how country jam will be, I might as well break up with him now. he spent the night blacked out and I could have been in a three-some.
Driving from bar to bar trying to recover all of the possessions I've drunkenly lost over the course of the past few nights. Actual nadir of my life and absolute height of shamblyness.
Props for using the word nadir
Being a slave to ur dick is exhausting.
I just found a reminder in my phone to ask you about your sex life in 7 years. So how is that going?
Listen, if I miss the flight to Vegas because she's still rimming my ass, it will have been worth it.
We were 69ing, but at an angle so we could both still watch Wall-E
Which one have i been cheating ON and which one have i been cheating WITH if i met them the same night & have been dividing time equally?
I'd like to know who hasn't seen my tits tonight.
Randomize
