take 3 tylenol pm's and try playing basketball.
i had a dream that your penis turned into a long neck dinosaur
did it start talking like on Land before time?
may or may not have recieved head in the car before we came in.
First straight guy ever blown in a Prius. Congrats.
Problem: At home sick with a stomach virus. Solution: smoke weed all day...
She just said she finds Tyler Perry funny... this is not going to work.
he left his wallet here so lets treat ourselves to a lunch for the lack of penis we both had deal with
The fact that he is from Canada is way more embarrassing than the fact that you met him on match.com
All she was asking was for you to describe your coat so she could get it, but you kept yelling at her so the security threw you out.
i also took my stockings off in the bathroom and blew my nose with them in the cab ride home. james was appalled
I do believe that seeing camel toe in leopard print pants at Walmart is the closest I will ever come to going on a safari
I just talked this guy out of hooking up with me and gave him relationship advice. Am I a good person now?
We compared her boobs to bacon. I'm probably going to have to justify that.
He added me on LinkedIn while I was baking weed brownies in the boxers he left here... Is this adulthood?
HOCKEY BUTTS AND BASEBALL BUTTS HONESTLY DO SOMETHING TO ME
We stole a Christmas tree from the student center and then decorated it with everything we stole from parties... All I have to say is Feliz Navidad!
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