No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
My doctor literally wrote on the script NO SEX
the fact that my dorm room overlooks a children's daycare is enough initiative for me to have safe sex.
No worries you cant actually turn into a wine snob if you brew it in your closet....
The a/c is broken so they cut a softball size whole in the freezer door. Goodbye deposit.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
I felt so bad for you. Drunk Rachael wanted nothing more than to crawl into the cop car and give you a hug. Luckily Mollied/Barred out Rachael convinced Drunk Rachael this was a terrible idea. So I ran. I have your keys btw
Is she still in your room?
Not for long. My plan is to smoke her out like a small woodland creature.
It's a "party harder or raise your standards" kind if night.
he told me he had a dream that he laid his head in my lap and silently gazed up at me. WHY AM I ALWAYS THE DUDE IN RELATIONSHIPS
So "I hate myself Mondays" has extended to Tuesday this week. I just had peanut butter and a glass of wine for lunch.
sidebar: i fucked your brother last night
Maybe whip a sausage around while you do it and pour some beer on you. Like a German white snake video
If he refers to me as slump buster one more fucking time.
Ah, Christ. I just saw a D lister I made out with once on a Rock Of Love rerun. Why are you asleep right now? Some weird shit is happening.
Randomize
