David Carradine died? Should I be thinking about this 10 min before my interview?
Haha just ref him when they ask a questin about kung fu which they will since ur Asian
it's a shame restraining orders have to come between me and my relationships
you know it's the perfect hook up when you don't have any friends in common with his girlfriend on facebook.
How does me getting a new dildo make you crave olive garden
Whatever, the fact of the matter is that I saved you from poorly planned outdoor sex by doing a rain dance and you should totally thank me.
I woke up to him pissing in their fireplace with fairy wings on.
Purse pizza: the pizza you buy before the club, and you eat on the train home. I thought you knew me by now!
I told him i turn boys gay hoping that would scare him off. Finally i found a way to take advantage of my disability.
For future reference. Do not congratulate the bar tender at oscars she is not pregnant she has just gotten fat u will get a shot thrown in your face
Three months into our sexual relationship, he comes out with "Your body is efficient". WTF do I do with THAT?
His fucking flight got canceled because the president stopped at the airport he was flying out of... Fuckin Obama literally just cock blocked me
He fingered me to the beat of the Fresh Prince theme song... it was pretty fantastic.
This is Ryan, Kristin's husband. I don't know if you meant to send that pic to me at 3am. You may want to call Kristin. Neat piercing though.
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
My brothers dog was hit by a car and died. They're really sad about it.
But they're having a baby! It's like a dog only 40 billion times worse!
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