if you don't start talking to me i'm gonna tell your gf that you said she tastes bad
Her cum face looks like the large marge scene in pee-wees big adventure
After she swallowed she let out a hurge burp. No BS. I'm the cock of the walk.
I think you have the wrong number. But at any rate, respect.
I got a chicken sandwich and a frosty out of her. Better then having sex
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
I woke up to three texts telling me to "go fuck myself," a panicked voicemail from my mom, and a girl thanking me... I'm not sure which I should take care of first
Whatever you didn't send me pics of you topless making bacon
Um, you were throwing up the shocker symbol in front of all of the wedding guests during the best man's speech. No wonder the groom thinks we're bad
I just asked her to come in through the window, this pretty much solidifies the whole fuck-buddy thing...
I am sorry. I am also on acid.
Now go get drunk with your fam and get back into ur christmas groove. No time for gonnorhea
If you gave someone an std. would you say a muffin basket, a candy gram or an edible arrangement is a better choice to send them?
Hahaha. I'm so high, this is gonna be so intense. Even the DVD menu scared the shit out of me.
I don't know if I'm more disturbed by the fact that you hooked up with a dude with one arm, or that "hook up with a dude with one arm" was on your bucket list.
He was shirtless in my yard saying he was jesus
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