no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
I just heard the term negative masterbation and I don't believe it
He said I was the smartest girl he had ever dated, that should have been a sign from the beginning
The vodka told me to go iceskating on my frozen pool. I may have attempted.
What a great world we live in when USPS can tell you that your drugs have been delivered.
He just dragged himself across the floor on his back claiming to be "the swiffer" help
Being thankful with your family is one thing. Being thankful with your friends while getting drunk and smoking bowls while eating leftovers, priceless.
Theme for your birthday? Beer olympics in S&M costumes? Sounds like a nice little saturday
Woke up shivering behind the titty bar, With the worst leg cramps. I'm like a poster boy for responsibility.
I'm still high with raccoon eyeliner eyes and chocolate all over my face and chest, clutching a mug of wine. Happy graduation.
They're fucking on the bed next to me. I took adderall and smoked so there's no fucking help for me.
Good morning! So would you prefer me to show up kind of late or on time but looking like I got chewed up and spat out by an episode of Buffy the Vampire Slayer?
I asked him if we were going to get arrested for doing it in the bar parking lot. "Absolutly not" said the guy getting the blow job...
She took her panties off, then farted in my general direction. I guess we're at that stage in our relationship.
So? Find me, fuck me, then you can go to sleep and I'll leave.
Wow. That's the most amazing thing anyone has ever said to me.
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