That's the secret to virgins: blizzards.
Is it just me or are more fat girls getting belly button piercing these days?
My psychiatrist is "consulting" others. I am high-achieving nuts.
Remember that amazing deer? You peed next to that dear..
Makin mac and cheese without you. Definitely seem to do this better inside you. Splashed boiling water on my cock
When the doctor said the anal leakage might not be reversible without some lifestyle changes you start asking if it's worth the entertainment value.
I don't really know how to explain this place...it's like I feel like I need an std just to fit in
Regardless of the amount of alcohol you may consume tonight - DON'T take anybody home
So after your set last night some 42 year old woman bought me a drink, professed her love for your music, and then made out with me last night because she thought I was you. Thank you.
These people don't understand my stages of drunk
was it wrong to tell him he's welcome in my pants any time?
Currently rolling a blunt in the bathroom of Planned Parenthood
I'm in my math teacher's garage hiding right now because I fucked his son last night. It's fine
Few clarical questions about last night: 1. How did we get home? 2. Am I wearing your underwear? 3. Where is Andrea? 4. Guy with nose ring last night hot?
1. You tried hitch hiking "like a pro" and flashed cars while sticking out your thumb until I called Michael. 2. I don't know but probably. 3. Who is Andrea? 4. Hot.
i need to get drunk because i'm an angry sober
I'm seriously scared right now. Woke up next to 3 geese and a lot of feathers ..
Randomize
