what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
it was the least impressive dick i've ever seen... and i've changed babies' diapers.
I just woke up in a puddle of boob sweat. Definitely time to consider a reduction.
Was finally able to jerk off without the motion giving me a migraine. Think my hangover's getting better.
i just opened a bottle of wine with my dads power tools
he asked my vagina if she was excited to meet Leonard. LEONARD. His fuckin penis is named Leonard.
He just tried to eat my hair and he keeps talking about pissing on everything, come home soon I beg of you
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
This message brought to you by inappropriate slogans. Cotton candy, melting in your mouth like boners.
I truly just stopped puking in my 730 am calculus class, looked up, corrected my professor, then resumed puking my eyes out. He was both impressed and disgusted.
You can't play that off as role play thing. You held my hips and kept yelling "put a baby in me!" That shit ain't cool.
I slept on her porch...in her dads handcuffs
I am so disappointed that he didn't steal a Christmas tree last night.
The stripper started talking about murdering people....that lapdance turned dark.....
Nothing wrong with a little cat scratch fever. You have toys?
A few, plus a dildo molded from a porn star that I've always been too intimidated of to actually use, but it's the apocalypse, and momma didn't raise no quitter.
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