I just realized that if I marry him I will have the same last name as spiderman. this makes my decision so much harder.
The best part was that when I woke up, I poked her with my dick to wake her up, and said, "Hi, I'm Alex. Nice to meet you". Shoulda seen the look on her face. Priceless.
It was great. Even bought me breakfast in the AM
From?
Well, he didn't exactly take me out, but left a $20 on the table...
Hey is it bad when your boss leans over your desk and tells you "you smell like the Rainforest Cafe"??
We walked in and found his glass coffee table broken and you in the bathroom throwing up saying "What a bad first impression."
I'm sorry I can't get drinks with you. I have to make sure my dad doesn't go to jail.
He gave me an elaborately handwritten invite (on a bar coaster) back to his place and whispered in my ear 'i have ping pong'. And he said byob. fuck THAT.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
No I just rolled on the floor giggling. I think that's the equivalent to a post sex victory dance.
At the end of the date, he asked if he could kiss me. I really wanted to say "dude, I didn't shave for nothing"
He will forever be known as the toe sucker who may or may not have been a father
Well we found Mark's missing underwear. They're pinned up on Mike's trophy wall.
He walked into the bar with a pillow and put his head down...nuff said
hey can you send me that pic of that dude?...if this isn't Rochelle's phone...can you please find and tell Rochelle to send me that picture of that dude?
He ate me out while I stood on his bed drinking a Rainier.
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