Granted, we were all high and wasted, but the fact that she thought we couldn't see her making out with the charles in charge lookalike bc she was holding up a pillow in front of them is a little ridiculous
Did he look more like 80s Charles in Charge or the old one that had that VH1 show? It makes a difference.
last nights makeup is better than no makeup at all.
george bush was a better president for first pitches than barack obama. there. i said it.
My penis hasn't been this frustrated since I was like 13 and I awkwardly got boners at school dances
He's warming up to shark week, by only eating fish and drinking vodka, and all the time he keeps yelling "death to the seals!"
She keeps stunt undies in her bag, 2 sizes too small. She leaves them behind so the guy thinks he was luckier than he was...
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
Convinced lucas all the eggs in the fridge are fertilized and now he's crying.
You just can't finish a sentence that starts with "I may have drunk peed in the bed" with "do you mind if I skip work and sleep here?" Anyways, yeah still drunk at work.
It was easier that asking where the vagina platter is.
I just did a shot of Jameson and two shots of cuervo. Note: this is the moment things went down hill
Also he said my vagina was sculpted by gods so there must be some feelings here.
I'm pretty sure ignoring the person that just sent you a picture of their boobs is bad nude etiquette.
I woke up at 4am because the neighbors cat managed to sneak into my bed. HOW THE FUCK DOES THIS STUFF HAPPEN TO
the next morning his mother came in to tell me that she made breakfast. she told me to put my clothes on too. awkward.
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