We could sell used underwear with pictures of us wearing them.
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
I woke up and my clothes were soaked in the shower and I was wearing a Ghostbusters uniform. I'm shocked she hasn't left me yet.
debating whether or not to save the package from my first plan b pill. it would be a nice addition to any baby book.
Shots. Renamed a guy (he looked like a Scott to me), running, bloody Marys, walk to Safeway, donuts, ride home from someones husband, Nurse Jackie. FIN.
Ps I got my nipple pierced. You're just gonna have to accept me for the tool I am and I don't wanna hear any shenanigans.
If I puke off the kayak tomorrow think nothing of it.
WHAT KIND OF GUY JACKS OFF TO A PICTURE OF A BUTT WHAT IS THIS THE 1980s
I think my brain has decided it's boycotting life until it can do whatever it wants.
I walked out in my coconut bra, and that's when it all went downhill.
Our first time hooking up was on New Years and we've managed to hook up every holiday since, I'm hoping this lasts until 2016 just to fulfill my American Holiday sex fantasy I never knew I had
So, if you eat too many protein bars, you will shit your pants. This I learnt today..... at work.
The only people who really get me are strippers and mascots for sports teams.
Did you mean to say flashlight? Or did your grandpa really give you a fleshlight for your bday?
Ok fell asleep on a bus in south Carolina just woke up in Canada where the hell is the liquor store from here?!
Randomize
