Your vagina is a self cleaning oven.
There are thorn wounds on my balls, don't ever question my dedication to party again
you made wolf sounds and yelled "team me" the entire movie
I'm so proud of your ability to turn my Charlie horse last night into anal sex.
You basically tried to anal probe my passed out friend with a lamp
Just had such a rough shit, don't stop believin had to be played
He screamed AMERICA, took a shot of vodka out of a Tupperware container, and then asked if he could see my tits
I really want to fuck that guy in the full wind breaker suit
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
Maybe don't sell him so much adderall next time. The other day during finals he was convinced that he could see the "molecules of life in the air" and kept reaching up slowly to grab them.
Also I know you probably did not understand anything I said on the phone last night but thank you for pretending.
He fucked me while wearing his night time breathing machine mask. Does this mean I joined the dark side and he is Darth Vader?
It may be a clusterfuck, but I'll be looking classy as shit as I watch the nightmare unfold
I want your attention. I want your attention in the form of your penis inside my vagina.
no, it was more of an i-don't-think-he-even-knows-what-a-clitoris-is, bad.
Randomize