shit! I think I may have lost something in your car. Look for anything that can possibly belong to me, especially look out for a pair of pink panties in a ziplock. I lost my spare and you better find it before someone else does.
I just met a guy from Australia at the bar. I asked him what it was like down under and he told me if I went home with him he'd let me find out. I love Australians.
he thought i was passed out so he proceeded to jerk off while i lay on the floor next to him
It's like the water temple from zelda. but with more tits.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
We were driving to the party as he was giving me key bumps.. That's what I call team work
Turns out getting tied up to two door handles and forced to repeatedly cum is actually a really good ab workout.
Just found a partially digested mushroom under my bed. Thanks for that.
I saw your relationship status and wanted to write "Now you can fuck with some peace of mind that she isn't giving that other guy she met online a handjob."
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
I think weed is turning my hair brown
As he was cumming he yelled "Yahtzee" then said im free to go. Thats my one night stand
are you fucking roseanne barr in there?
The clothing optional portion of the night began around midnight. Then we did disgusting things to each other. It was beautiful.
I wrote life affirmations on my notes to repeat and read several times a day so I become a better person, see the time on the toilet has been constructive
Randomize
