So do you want to come over? ;)
Never again opening up the Pandora's box of crazy that is your vagina. Sorry.
Her name starts with A and ends with whore.
If he doesn't notice me by the next party, i'm just gonna go up to him and pll his pants down and blow him.
Sounds like a plan.
He waited til after we had sex to tell me he had herpes... Ugh I hate being drunk
we're going to dress like we're asking for it, because we are
i did the responsible thing and pissed myself...
I just figured you know how to drive a boat and I know how to get drunk. What can go wrong
Its summer. Time to get to the freshmen before the weight does.
She asked if I wanted to "Mormon Motorboat" her, which I guess is just motor-boating her through her cloths. Turns out I did.
Look. If you're going to be my girlfriend you need to be down with me licking BBQ off your face infront of kids.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
Remember that mom/daughter stripper team? Well i just met the ex husband/father in AA. WOW!!!! WOW....
Mom called her a cunt. I think that's code for "don't bring her over ever again."
I'm not sure why he thinks weird that I masturbate AND look at pinterest at the same time.
Dude, Kevin called the cops on the cops.
Randomize
