my grand plan for the evening is to do shots of vodka til i cant anymore
on the list of things id be doing when i was almost 30, waiting for a girl to finish shitting the bed wasn't on there.
When he was fingering me, it felt/looked like he was digging around for pocket change.
I felt weird they were both staring at me waiting for the scoop on how your vagina felt.
It's sore actually
Yes, I did know where her mouth had been, but frankly I think it was a lesson you needed to learn.
I made him recite stats from the playoffs game last night before I would go down on him.
Thanks again for allowing my sister to lose her virginity on your bed.
As the bouncer was escorting you out, you yelled "keep your filthy dick beaters off me!"
Both of our knuckles were split open this morning when I came out of the blackout, the column on the porch has two new cracks in it, were like the redneck Super Smash Bros.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Would it be crossing a line if I told him that I now know his girlfriend has a huge mole on her left ass cheek?
Found out my grandpa had two wives and found out I'm eligible for some internships 11/10 would do acid again.
I cannot believe I am seriously having a conversation about my best friend's sexual prowess as a dream lesbian.
That ass isn’t going to eat itself.
So...I'm pretty sure I have officially determined that reverse cowgirl is the only position possible to have sex in my smart four two
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