the guy I was hooking up with asked me if he could wear a guerilla suit during sex.
I'm pretty sure his head is too big to fit between my legs. Worthless.
what's Bukake?
a bad idea.
ps... at the end of one of the videos you yell "let's do the eiffel tower again.. i'll be in the middle!" .. i almost died lolol
And then you told your sister how horrible of a friend I was because I couldn't get you cheese fries...
They need to add a relationship status option on fb that says "having the baby of..."
Someone just asked me if ur the girl that fell through the floor. I HAD to say yes.
I just had a 30 minute conversation about hummingbirds. That high.
I miss high conversations.
Swinging. Is. Amazing.
That awkward moment when the guy you hooked up on spring break invites you over for dinner to meet his parents and you say yes because the first rule of college is never turn down a free meal.
THE SHIT YOU GET YOURSELF INTO
Commuter bitches be judging your sister and her bag fulla wine. It's a motherfucking rosé, bitch!
Sorry this is the worst night of your life and that you're being a baby about it.
Disregard everything I texted you last night. Oh, and disregard me hooking up with your boyfriend.
I DEMAND FORESKIN
There will be bowls smoken and not a single fuck will be given.
I just recommended that the library purchase the first major hentai with tentacle porn. Really, I'm doing everyone a favor.
Randomize
