i just saw a woman using her birth control packet as a wallet.
i just threw up in a potted plant at home depot
Bret has after-school detention for writing Brianna has a stinky vag on the ground at recess.
So High I just made Cadbury Coffee. I don't know what it is yet, but it involves Cadbury Eggs and coffee.
The look I see on guys faces when they realize my nipples are pierced remind me of when my mom used to come home from the grocery store and surprise me with poptarts.
Just stuffed an entire cupcake in my mouth after finishing third glass of wine. Valentines day is pretty much going how i expected it.
He talked me into making a sex video, no worries though, I was wearing sunglasses.
im not even sure if i fucked her just woke up in her closet.
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
cassie wtf are you alive??! no one has seen you for like seven hours whereeee did you go
IS IT POSSIBLE FOR A GUY TO NOT HAVE BALLS
Yea I saw a friend of yours carrying your limp body somewhere
He never answered about passing his structures test no matter how I asked him. He did send a text saying that he would be "pouring alcohol into his head and balls" so I'm guessing he has to retake the whole class.
This is seriously fucking awkward. My favorite sex scene just started and my dad's still here. He offered me Cheetos.
I just tried to dye my pubic hair teal for her
I'm just bringing him "breakfast," and breakfast may lead to lunch and dinner, but that doesn't mean I want the mealplan.
Randomize
