glad you had fun, i did too. am rubbing aloe on my butt now.
I can't remember last night. I must have yelled at your girlfriend til she cried again.
Yup.
I got into my dads silver toyota in the back seat to get picked up and 2 mins later I asked my dad when are we leaving, then an old mexican woman turned around. wrong toyota I'm guessing.
How do I recover from singing "your body is a wonderland" on his voicemail?
So add panera bread to the places i love to eat that i am potentially banned from.
Keep in mind that he's 43, unemployed and living with his parents. There's really not much we could do to make his life worse.
We were gonna play Truth or Dare but like 10 minutes in we decided to get naked and play Dare or Get the fuck out.
some asshole was waslkibg around with ab electric razor and shaving parts of peoples heads.
by the time the kitchen caught on fire everyone was too drunk to be alarmed. the host just poured beer on it to put it out. how was yours?
You kept yelling in my face " YOU'RE GONNA HAVE TO SUCK A DICK TONIGHT!"
idk i usually just blame everything on steve
Steve quit two months ago
Stop getting drunk and running away. I can'tell chase you. Iim in heels and have big boobs. Running is a bad idea for me.
Hiking for a first date sounded like a good idea in theory because there was absolutely no possibility of me blacking out. In practice, I'd rather black out than go through what I just went through.
You know you gave a quality blow job when you have to ice your neck and jaw the next day.
I've never been so drunk at home. I just sat on the toilet playing with toilet paper for ten minutes, I almost made a paper crane.
Randomize
