I've taken to hiding pictures of us around his room so that he'll forever feel guilty for dumping me on Valentine's Day... And to potentially cock block any hook ups.
I'm using the size of your dick as a guage to see how big something is on Amazon. Any questions?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Give me one reason I shouldn't put the phrase "sex emotions" into my essay.
No.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Wait..I think something else did happen last night my vagina is too pleased for this level of hangover..
All I want is for every tall lanky young guy who is reading in a Starbucks to go balls deep in me. That's all.
After he finished he proceeded to check my boobs for breast cancer.
I want to pinterest what I want to do with my pubes. Why isn't there a board for that?!
Be proud. You give fat lesbians everywhere shower-nozzle worthy material for weeks on end.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
For our final psych experiment, we're conditioning Tim to hump the nearest inanimate object and/or person every time he hears a Ke$ha song
My roomate has me out looking for easter kegs hidden arround town
If I had a penis, I'd want to put it in you. And I'd treat you with respect and pay for your drinks.
skyped with him for 45 min in the bath while i shaved my legs. new level in the relashionship
Btw I'm playing passed out so you can get laid but obviously you need to take the offense just ask him if he wants to go to bed and leave a cigg on the counter
The only words we could get out of him as he stared catatonically into space were "Everyone I know and love is dead"
Randomize