apparently farting at a cop is considered assault.
She looked kinda like Mario Batali?
Do you think this abandoned cigarette has herpes? cuz I'm tempted.
It doesn't matter if he doesn't speak English because I speak the international language of blowies.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I cant prove it..but im almost positive that you were just outside my window watching me while eating out of a bag of Cheetos...
I'm laying in the fetal position on the floor of my kitchen eating potato salad with my fingers. Please come over with some real food and keep me company.
Between my sister puke and rallying at the bar and my brother sending a drunk passed out naked pic in which his dick was exposed, I don't know which sibling to be more proud of this weekend.
In between rounds of sex, you stopped and did drunken handstand push-ups.
I'd feel bad about being drunk at the Christmas service, except for the fact that I've already had sex in this church, so this is just small change.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He's getting me an energy drink and said good morning beautiful. He must sense i'm cutting him off from the sex.
im far more worried about your salsa intake than your weed intake
Im looking at the faintest of claw marks right now. I just fell in love all over again.
I just took a shot before my midterm. Gotta keep things in perspective.
If it makes you feel any better, I can't find the goldfish I dropped like five minutes ago.
Must lick fork, like it's a DICK
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