if your leaving for the weekend then im farting on your pillow
Do you ever go through someone elses pictures and just appreciate the fact that youre not really friends with them?
There's a paramedic out here, what have you done?
I mean, we started to hook up but my asthma attack kind of killed the mood
I just realized I have yet to puke in your new apartment. Clearly we're doing something wrong. On my way over with Cuervo as I type.
I just burped jalapeños and cum. That was the most disgusting thing ever.
After we were done the second time she turned to me and called me a Hardcore Armadillo. Also, her O face involves crossed eyes. You tell me.
I needed that adderall to break my tradition of passing out at the bar on Sundays
DON'T PUKE iN THE PRINGLES CAN, WHATEVER YOU DO!
I was so high I started singing Let It Go and then instantly started laughing 'cause I was eating ice. Everyone just stared.
All I want for my birthday to be fingered and eat pizza
It's one of the few times I hit fuck it levels of not caring
I'm too high and old for this...
I woke up alone, naked in her bed staring at a lifesize poster of edward cullen,actually I'm lying I did have socks on
100000% expect a picture of my ass in them
Randomize
