so... how was it???
he had bart simpson sheets. he had itunes on shuffle and "don't worry be happy" started playing when he took his boxers off. sad to say i was neither worried nor happy
69 |D_O
wtf does that mean??
it's a very specialized emoticon, means 'i heard you fucking some dude through my bedroom wall last night and so i listened intently"
hey soul. what's that? you, dignity and pride are left for the night? coulda told me that before i vomited all over my mother.
Why can't I find a man that likes bush instead of a vagina that looks like it belongs to a prepubescent child!
Because men are children
Touche
Do you still like to have your hair pulled?
No, I never liked having my hair pulled. I think you have me confused.
Why do I feel like I used to feel when I almost got caught looking at porn when I get caught looking at facebook at work
i was laying in her brothers bed, in his old room. and i kept getting the chills. i didn't know if it was a draft or the ghosts of BJ's past.
And I feel bad.
Because we're having a serious discussion about our sex life and you're playing minecraft?
Drinking franzia alone at noon watching a cheese themed episode of "The Chew" I'm ready to admit I need a job.
What bar did i puke in last night
by bar you must mean bars and by in you must mean on
Just had a threesome with a hot Turkish guy and an even hotter French lawyer. This what happens when I travel alone. You have only yourself to blame for this.
How was the picnic?
We played softball, except our team sucked. In one hand was a mitt, the other a beer.
Why didn't you put them down?
No beer left behind.
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
Pizza rolls are incredible. They are like sex, except I have them sometimes
I would rather contract a disease that would eat me from the inside out and make me suffer painfully while it slowly killed me than to put myself through the 20 minutes of agony that is having sex with you ever ever again.
I think you're talking dirty but I'm not sure???
Randomize
