Dude she looked like Jerry Garcia's knuckles
Katie is reenacting me jizzing in her eye via emoticons...
And you kept repeating "I didn't know know that this was a no blow job zone."
we've called him dos banos ever since he threw up in 2 separate bathrooms with the same puke
Also: how drunk is your brother? He just left me a message as batman.
I vaguely remember trying to exfoliate my face with your leg hair. Sorry about that.
I'm so in the Halloween spirit, I zombified my all of my nudes on my phone. Tell me this isn't creative.
a kid puked on the floor and instead of, you know, cleaning it they cut a square out of the carpet with a boxcutter and threw it outside
i meant to type that i went to that party for shits and giggles, but my phone corrected me and said for shots and goggles...either one works
I decided not to look up the nudes, because I believe that there is a line, and that mocking my old classmate's horrid nudes alone crosses that line.
Just accidentally walked into a parade for Jesus
If he sends me a dick pic so help me god.
She yelled out "MCDREAMY" mid orgasm
We power houred with shots of red wine. Somehow we ended up with 7 bottles and lost Chris. Trying to find him this hungover is proving very unsuccessful.
I'm listening to a women in metal station and wearing a flannel. I may have approached peak lesbian.
Randomize
