I wish you could order shots online.
Last night I got a napkin with 4 names & numbers: Katie, Ellen, Kylie...and Brandon.
im getting my college education on yahoo answers.
She stared for a good 10 seconds before calling my dick "awe-inspiring", and then proceded to give me blueballs. All in all the ego boost made my night break even
You're mold. I may or maynot have puked blood this morning.
I don't know which part of you thought this was funny but it's fucked up to wake up in that much fluff and now we don't have a couch. Fuck you.
Some idiot from high school is in the hospital for bonging three beers up his ass
He should have died. Natural selection.
You have no idea how pumped I am. I literally plan on dying. You're in my will
I just want someone to shove bread from panera down my throat
Now the circle is complete. Just interviewed a guy who was a higher up member of the team I worked for in my job before this place
Like if it it's practical for your sexual health I'm allergic to it AKA REGULAR CONDOMS
I've finally given up enough on finals week to wear the same shirt three days in a row, because I didn't take my hoodie off for the first two.
Sorry, that was mean and I didn't mean it. I'm just mad at condoms
Hey babe! Random question. Do you by chance have the pic of my nipples covered with ninja turtles band aids? Thanks.
I just racked up a fucking ginormous hospital bill because I came so hard I had an asthma attack
Randomize
