you just stared at your feet and said some shit about the molecules dancing and how you had just solved physics.
we couldn't afford a big pool so we bought 2 kiddie pools and put the inflatable beer pong table inbetween. get over here. now.
I don't know what you drank last night but you really enjoyed the 4 egg body shots.
She kept saying 'I love you' but i couldn't tell if she was talking to me or to her beer.
Good morning! Spongebob is on channel 257 when you wake up. Help yourself to breakfast. You were great last night. See you when i get back.
He puked on the grill while the burgers were on. We had to go to taco bell
We all make mistakes. Just lock them up deep down inside your mind so they can surface as weird sexual fantasies it takes your therapist years to decipher when your 40
I feel like he's mythological. Like you just had lunch with the Loch Ness Monster of hotness
I draw, I play three woodwind instruments, I press buttons for eight hours at work and Im studying to be a gynecologist... I guarantee I can make you squirt, babe.
Found a phone out last night at the bar. EPIC homemade porn vids on it!
I think I'm going to give him a welcome back to single life blow job
I think the "tmi" ship sailed a long time ago, and it took our dignities with it..
At one point we were both in the bathroom and i was taking a shit while holding your hair as you puked in the sink. Friendship.
just got a call from a life insurance sellsperson and apparently our xany dealer referenced us. not cool thats breaking the 4th wall
I started the day with dreams of getting laid and ended it with the reality of eating Taco Bell in my bed with my dog.
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