Hey, kurt drew a penis on you and wrote my innotals. I had nothing to do a/ that.
ive decided theres a fine line between accepting money for sex and letting someone buy you late night taco bell and knowing that if he hadnt you wouldnt be in his bed right now
i knew she was high when she broke up the cookies into her glass of milk and ate it like cereal
I just saw a girl walking up the hill with a little red wagon full of booze... I want to be in her study group.
great! i almost saw a gas station fight, and i believe i became the first person to successfully pee and puke in a bathtub simultaneously
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
At first i thought she was a sexily dressed toddler. but not in a pedophile way, in a really on drugs way
Okay, who took a picture of their pubes shaved into a dragon on my phone and made it the background?!
I'm imaging you naked, covered in butter. And I gotta say, I'm not impressed.
The topic of sex in the jamba banana suit has come up on multiple occasions. We're just waiting for a moment to try it out.
Of the three people getting wasted at this dance competition, im two of them
It wasn't a basement apartment, it's his parents basement. And he wanted to show me his pet tarantula collection. I NOPED THE FUCK OUT!
Did we do anything stupid last night besides hook up with our ex girlfriends?
DROP EVERYTHING! Gatta go get tested for herpes, lets make an adventure out of it.
And it only took a fake engagement ring, a condom and a bowl of weed
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