Its okay if i dont like him.his junk is just too good to resist.model penis,lame guy.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
Hard to imagine a reason apart from blow jobs that I'm awake at 530 am.
Dude, totally just found out that I've been washing my hair with semen for the past 3 weeks.
You're having sex and i just smoked and made oatmeal...i'll give you some time to be jealous
If you dedicate your next bite to me, I'll dedicate my first orgasm to you.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
The neighborhood kids rang the doorbell in the middle of my first bong rip to ask if they could use my trampoline for the thirtieth time today...I opened the door and pretended to puke up a shitload of smoke, I have never seen a more terrified group of children
You screamed "there will be blood" and punched some random guy in the face. So no, we can't go back to that bar.
According to the red cross, I'm not suppose to do anything strenuous for the next 24 hours. That means you're on top.
My vagina loves me do-dah do-dah my vagina loves me do-dah do-dah
I picture you throwing your vagina around in the same fashion that they pass out candy at a parade.
420 is off to a bad start. Mark wake/baked WAY too much, and he has spent over $50 on the claw machine in the grocery store.
Woke up this morning with a darth vader helmet and a bath robe on with my toenails shitly painted
She didn't complain to the library attendant about us being too loud. She complained after you grabbed her highlighter off the table to stir vodka into your tumbler with.
Let's be real. I'm the Usain Bolt of running away after hookups. Fastest (wo)man alive.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
