the the hell do you 'accidentaily" jizz on a shirt thats folded in a drawer?
i want to be waterboarded, just to see what all the fuss is about
Hurry up I might actually study if I am left alone
I'm wearing the bright blue sombrero all through the airport as a sign of triumph that I survived spring break. I'm getting compliments
We hadn't had sex in so long that I started queefing and then I couldn't stop giggling... I think he's mad.
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
halloween is the only time that anne boleyn, the joker, a cowgirl, and a mexican man complete with sombrero and poncho can all hit the same blunt
Was it high me or sober me who put those Jolly Rancher sticks in the freezer? I'd be soooo impressed if it was high me.
can't blv i tried using a "backpack" as a unit of measurement...i drank a lot of beer last night
They said I was more of a mess than the German. I have achieved the unachievable, you may bow down to me
i told him I'd let him eat part of a weed cookie out of my cleavage, so he pulled over like a gentleman.
It's probably not healthy how legit bummed I am that my bottled of wine is gone.
We'll get you some ice cream, but no sprinkles. Sprinkles are for winners.
just played fuck the dealer and thunderstruck with my physics ta. he is the third ta that i have drank with this semester, i think i'm getting good at college
long story short, he tried to fuck me standing up, toppled over, and now I have four stitches next to my eye
Randomize
