1. Call me if you need ANYTHING. 2. If you get tag teamed, I want details.
i dont know what it is, i just found it in my pants.
we're making bets on your personal life
Some asshole just brought BK into my summer class, im already high as hell, i did not need another way to not pay attention
He was going nice and slow, then he yelled " BOONNEESTOORRMM!!!!!". I can't walk straight.
If it looks really sketchy and smells like burnt pizza and pot you're in the right place
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
look in the field by the highway and see if there is a high heel there. Or some Taco Bell bags.
eating on the run again ?
She has "Massive Shits" listed as a turn off. That's very specific and there's a story behind it I bet.
Sweet, got a date tomorrow night
You kept trying to make cocktails with my protein powder last night...
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
Just got a 15 minute lecture from a drag queen about how bisexuality doesn't exist. Cher would be so disappointed in her.
Ugh. My life is a never ending cycle of bad decisions and taquitos.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
He ate me out on a washing machine in the 24 hour laundromat. Whoever watches that security camera footage is getting a show!
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