I just encouraged Kelsey to make out with some guy for beer so I could take one, does this make me a pimp?
By definition I think it does.
So this is what it feels like to be all that is man.
and technically it was a rebound
so lol
and then you got rebounded for the same girl he rebounded you for and still never scored ... it was like watching an LA Clippers game
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
He lectured me about the dangers of drugs while wearing a sombrero and doing interpretive dance.
Heard puking from next door. Looks like the third floor won't be any different than the second.
just used my amazon order history to figure out my anniversary. I am the most epic/shittiest bf ever...
I've been there a week.. I'd rather all my coworkers not know that I'm already sleeping with my boss.
MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! I REPEAT, MEAN GIRLS IS ON NETFLIX! THIS IS NOT A DRILL! I LITERALLY NOW HAVE TO CANCEL ALL OF MY WEEKEND PLANS.
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Did u guys seriously make a betting pool on when im going to get pregnant???
Yep, wanna bid?
I'm not saying you're stupid, just that you have bad luck when thinking...
You followed me up the stairs while i was throwing up yelling "projectile! projectile! projectile!"
We keep making plans but he keeps getting arrested. Such a tease
my dad walked in on me peeing into the trashcan in our kitchen last night at like 2am. wtf
I used to want you to marry him...Now I just think you deserve a bigger penis than that.
Randomize
